Long time no Be

Since October, I've had a lot going on. I went bankrupt in November...In December, my SSI was cut off (no notice-it's called emergency SSI, so they are not required to tell you!) I am on my second appeal.
In March, the government saw fit to cancel my Medicaid (again without notice{only emergency}), after taking a bus and walking 2 miles to a dermatology appointment to take care of some bleeding skin problems(cancer?). Who knows...
Now, I have no way to see doctors and prove I need the SSI. I am getting food stamps(Thank G_d!), but I am falling further into debt.
I couldn't pay my property taxes OR my utilities OR my $130 per mo. maintenance to the Homeowners' Assn.
I make $250 a month cleaning the pool area and picking up the trash around the complex (That is my total income per month!)
I got the flu(could not afford the shot), last month and am still dealing with the remnants of it (With an infection in my lungs).
NO MONEY-NO DOCTOR-NO ANTIBIOTICS!
I have $40 to my name, and I can't pay this month's bills either!
To top that off, Passover is in 2 days and for the first time in my life, I must celebrate it Alone. I wasn't invited anywhere for the Seder. My aunt and uncle were invited "somewhere" to someone's home(friend of my late mom), but did my aunt think to ask that friend if I could
be invited??? THAT HURTS! Last year, when I still had a car, I was invited to my mom's best friend's daughter's home, at the last minute. I was SO happyto have aplace to go!
NO CAR-NO JOB-NO MONEY- NO LIFE!
According to my mother's best friend, there are tons of job openings and EVERYONE is hiring...BULLCRAP!
I'm very depressed and I must wait 1-2 months on a waiting list to get an appointment for therapy for free (The County charges $40 if you haven't got insurance or Medicaid-Even on a sliding scale, Jewish Family Services charges $20-25).
In the meantime, I hang on to hope and my sanity, praying I won't do anything rash, while I wait.
My whole life is on hold, and, in general, doesn't feel particularly worth living. My friends sat they'd miss me. I figure, in a few months memories of me would fade and disappear and I would be in oblivion. The only obstacle to offing myself is to make sure someone would take care of Moishe, my Jewhuahua, and give him a loving home.
I am tired all the time now, active or not, feeling quite the parasite on society, and my friends and family. What to do...what to do...?